Saturday, May 20, 2017

The Pizza (Short story)

She did not know where the meeting place was supposed to be. At the back of her mind was the thought that it was somewhere near a pizza parlour. But there were so many of them. If only she had got his number then she could just phone and ask. How stupid was she?

She didn’t even know what he would look like. Bloody blind dates! What was she thinking letting her best friend Janine talk her into it. Why do attached friends think that to be single is a bad thing? She hadn’t chosen to be alone. John had died in a tragic drowning accident three years ago while they were on holiday in Ibiza. They never found his body.

Her mind slips back to the white beach and blue skies. She can still remember his last words. He said, “Are you sure you won’t come for a swim, the water is so clear. I remember replying that it may have been clear, but it was freezing. I amended the famous Maggie Thatcher line to, “you swim if you want to. This lady is not for bathing.” We both laughed and he said, “Ok, I’ll see you in a bit.” I watched him disappear over the sand and then fell asleep to the most relaxing imaginings. Most of them featured John in various stages of foreplay. Who could have known that this man of my dreams would be swept out to sea and lost? I still couldn’t figure it out all these years later.

The sad recollections come swift and fast. So much information delivered so cruelly and clearly in split second reverie. The Police interviews, the consular and hotel staff and worst of all the sympathy of the fellow holidaymakers. After all, a disappeared husband with no body made me the perfect prime suspect. It hadn’t helped that it was some hours before I noticed he was missing. I remember waking up on the beach and wondering where he was. The towel and his possessions remained where he had left it so I just assumed he had gone back to the room for something.

After a few hours I packed up our stuff and headed back to the hotel. There was no sign of him and I began to get anxious. I didn’t want to be on my own too long as I had noticed a handsome Spanish guy seemed to be always on the scene whenever John wasn’t around. Perhaps coincidence, maybe even some wishful thinking, or just the mind just playing tricks but I had an uneasy feeling that he was kind of a mini stalker or worse. Anyway he was nowhere around today luckily.

I do not really believe in intuition, but I knew something was wrong. I voiced my concerns to the hotel reception and they advised me to contact the police. They phoned the hospital to no avail and shortly after the police arrived.

Looking back it was a nightmare to be both widowed and accused all in the same day. Things might have gone badly at that stage if a local sailor hadn’t reported that he saw a man out in the water heading away from the beach. The sailor Raoul had warned him in his heavy Spanish accent to turn around but John had taken no notice. That was so typically my confident John that my heart knew it had to be him.

I can’t think of it any more for the moment. The world around me comes back into focus and I am standing outside the ‘Slice of Nice’ Pizzeria on Main Street. It has now begun to lightly rain and there is nowhere to shelter. It has changed from sunshine to dark clouds in only minutes. Ah, Eastbourne in June is just perfect! I think to myself to just let it slide and head off home when a deeply cheerful voice calls out. “Hey Helen, it is so great to meet you at last.” I turn around to see the most handsome man coming towards me. He has a huge smile and thick dark curls around his broad tanned face. For a split second I almost thought I knew him.

He holds out his hand and says, “Janine told me what you would be wearing. I guess she thought you might do a runner, or just plain forget where we had arranged to meet.” In shock I shake his strong hand. It is warm and I can feel the hairs and the deep creases on his fingers. He looks Mediterranean but there is no trace of any accent that I can discern. He continues, “I am very pleased to meet you at last. Come let us go inside and get out of the rain.”

Despite the name the pizzeria is quite swish; elegant even. He has had the good sense to book a table and soon we are sitting in the window watching the raindrops trickle down the glass pane. Am I nervous, unsure, even a little exhilarated, perhaps? You bet, but there is something so powerful in those steel grey eyes nestling under thick brown brows that keep me transfixed. His face reminds me of a new holiday vista. It is a rugged and powerful landscape and I realise I cannot take my eyes off him. Before we have even ordered any food we are on the second bottle of Chianti and my whole sad story has poured out like a tidal wave of ill fortune.

At this point I expect my date to make some excuse and go. Tragedy plays out so differently in retrospect and I imagine most men see me as some fatalistic black widow character. But no; he sits and listens and I even think I see empathy and understanding in his attentive gaze. Time to learn a little of him so I ask, “Are you originally from England?”

I detect a momentary smile, but he replies, “No originally I come from Spain. I came to Britain a little over two years ago looking for love and set up a boat repair business. I realised my English was not so good so I have been taking lesson at college. Pretty good, no senorita” I laughed at his slip back into his native accent. My name is Raoul Javier Baleras and I knew your husband briefly. He once asked me for help when he was in trouble and I pointed him in the right direction.”

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Words

Apologies for taking so long to do a post

Word come small in the beginning
Grains, gleans and germination
And like some implausible queens
We lay in our chambered nests
Gloriously building a fantastic crèche
Nurseries of word productiveness
To raise our potent larval scripts
But time will not allow us to keep...
All the infants of prose we cherish
We have hatched too many words
They become a plague upon opinion
That rattles on crowded, cerebral combs
Soaring thoughts that buzz and dance
Pressed together tight in rows of chaos
They cannot all live here together
They are so many
And so they come to divide
They swarm in the hive mind
And briefly, ere they leave, see them all...
Our last glimpse of honeyed wisdom
And then a mind splits its memories
And which memories exit
Fly into the white paper skies
As lay a kiss of grace upon compassion
And those which stay to be evergreen
Ah, that is the question
That only time will tell later
When all my best stories are left untold

Monday, April 03, 2017

Drone


Back when dinosaurs roamed
So it seems,
I was,
Lithe and ripped
Like sinuous metal
Gleaming in my manly morning
Then ascendance came
At noon, I was full-grown
With new legacies of DNA
A brood to mark my existence
Then all meaning waxed
Afternoon came to evening
Leaving silver on brow and crown
And my influence, it fades
Now the new stories begin
And so comes night
I break upon a coldness
This earthly hive is empty of bees
Life is done with its drone
Two new generations have swarmed
But my queen, she saw, but one
I begin to see her again
She is still magnificent
And I will take my last flight
To return to your hiving grace
And drink of your nectar again


Thursday, March 30, 2017

Musk

Are we just tang and sweat
That we try to conceal
It just that I wonder
If we can smell love?
Inhale it like a perfume
Because right now
I'm lying here next to you
In the dark
After we have loved
Like two demons set loose
And I love this smell
That now seeps between us 
That flows into our serenity
It is the scent of heaven
And it marks my soul in its musk

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Fly

Love is blind
Love is unconditional
Love is forever
Love is fate
But love it is elusive
It only talks in whispers
And we need to listen
Or never learn to fly 

Friday, March 17, 2017

Instagram

Some stuff i put on Instagram - kinda like putting the 2 things together. Not sure they work here but...




Sunday, March 12, 2017

Time

Time
We can waste it
Or spend it
Lose it or remember tit
We can plan it
Or regret it
But we can never reclaim it
But with infinite combination
And finite elements
We can repeat it
Till we get it right

Thursday, March 09, 2017

Laughter


When a truth is laughingly delivered
When we ridicule in truthful jest
Hackles rise, become temper ignited
Laugh and the world concurs, they say
I do not attest in good faith, it is so
All too soon, mirth is all but run dry
For in delivery of unwarranted humour
Silence would always be, perhaps ,best
Than a darker comedy of good intention


Wednesday, March 08, 2017

Vegans


And I was asleep till I awoke to ask
Let me now eat a better food
Pastries more wholesome than redemption
All the sweeter for meatless savour
Deliverance is worth having
For I was a covert monster once
Now I search through my conscience
In lost drawers of sentimentality
And they are empty of any reason
Save silver scales and charring wood
Lifeless flesh lying on charcoal tombs
Innocence and fur lost forever under stars
The aroma of my indifference clings still
But I am remade now a better human
For all the guilt and doubt is gone
And those that do not continue to sleep
In dreams of uninterested brutality
Become the blessed of the earth
No matter how late they arise to be vegan


Sunday, March 05, 2017

Phantoms


When we become phantoms
Flying on wide, night skies
That are brimming with stars
Do not come then with kisses,
Or fair things of loving value
Bring your gifts now into warmth
For once sunlight is cold upon us
And our skin is turned to grey
When all our clocks have paused
And all our love is ever vanished
Then all these hopes and dreams
Will scatter into the moonlight
For my love, then it will be too late

Friday, March 03, 2017

Forgive

A mind might let go if it were weak
Release the horror contained within
But the reflection of self is unseen
Instead there is cast other faces
They float upon the glossed water
And apparate when night falls
They low and bleat in the gloom
Whispers and cool breaths beset me
Gently brush my skin like a violence
And this is no shadowy imagining?
It consumes my sorrows in the dark
Reparation for what conscience allowed
And then it is gone into the past
For the animals forgive us everything
If we have learnt to forgive ourselves

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Whales

All life's glorious shipwrecks
Come finally to their rest
We are Titans becalmed by fate
Upon calm seas of fine threads
Where rocky pillows of instance
Break hubris to a lapping loyalty
The whales of fortune have dived
Fled into the deeps of younger seas
But all wonder is not yet vanished
As a lover, I was alas, poor interest
So now only as a warm companion
Welcome onto my watery divan
And we may still caress, or embrace
Though no pearls will we now find
Upon a sandy décolletage at dawn
Like a languorous foam on slow tides
We shall float away the remaining days
Indolence will triumph on the high sea
Though no good people of elegance
May stay buoyant and free forever
We shall let the waves, take us away
On one last journey over the horizon
Following the day's descending sun
Till we are under the new rising moon
And then the sea may close about us
For life's voyage is not so bad, after all

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Walk

The Amazonian was felled
And we wreathed the victor
In a crown of incredulous awe
And now all is quiet; all is still
Crowds may away into mists
Till there are only ghosts left
But our hearts keep a chronicle
Tolerance may diminish and rot
But always where there is loss
Flowers will flourish the swifter
Great, profuse blooms of hope
Floral lamps scenting away sorrow
Illuminating any loss of liberation
And upon these trails of beauty; walk
Trace new and stronger paths of equality
For freedom grows best in summer 

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Temple

My body is a temple
But what a glorious one
A veritable ruin of antiquity
And inside its facade
Betwixt column and decal
A half-remembered dream
Upon an altar of flight
Lies still like a sacrifice 

Friday, February 24, 2017

Better

There are millions of good people
But I'm not one of them yet
I thought perhaps I was
But now I can see my imperfections
I suddenly become a little better
And hope comes like endowment
I unwrap these new days like gifts
Take off the starry bow of dawn
And savour each hourly layer
Till night rewraps it to black
And I sleep a better man than yesterday

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Denial

The animals pay for our denial
The truth is a fleeting blossom
Under clouding summer skies
The lies will always break free
Metamorphose into aspiration
For we never remember truth
Self-importance makes us forgetful
For who can live and thrive
With the constant disenchantment
That we are made so dreadful 

First

Now the earliest flowers do arise
The yellow trumpets will tell no lies
Nor snowdrops erupting under bluer skies
And witness how the coldness flies
As warm spring comes; winter dies 

Friday, February 17, 2017

First flowers in the garden





Honey

When all honey from the world is gone
When we decline kindness as deception
Forgoing all the sugar of its compassion
Naught will sweeten life's bitter draught
For then, all there is left, becomes brutality

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Valentine


And no one  may unravel this blissful thread
The Valentine is sent; longing cannot be unsaid
This mistress of time is no measure of chance
She has a debt to collect and a destiny to dance
From out the hopeful hearts that cling to youth
She takes some vitality but bestows worthy truth
A gift of love she brings forth upon a loving wind
For all the happy times the young have sinned
And in the loving war of desire all is bloodless
For it takes only a card of intent to do it justice 


Monday, February 13, 2017

Bafta’s


What's it about; who the hell knows?
Faux appeals for equality in costly clothes
Commercial novelty for a selfish aim
Hollywood's hobby now an English game
And I saw some of the Bafta’s last night
Our glittering display of celluloid might
It's the pre-orgasm Oscars; UK foreplay
Little real talent, but yet, so much to say
Some political posturing to make it real
All ignored when it's time to cut a new deal
And I watched about as much as I dare
But does anyone but the business care?
And I confess, it troubled me to distress
To see former beauties become aged actress
Bearded men abound and everyone guesses
They'd rather wear their partner's designer dresses

Friday, February 10, 2017

Paint

On a Scots highland holiday
Under a clear and blue sky
Looking out to a majestic vista
Beside the shimmering loch
We all painted pictures
Of tall green mountains
With veins of silver water
In jest we painted together
To make small treasures to keep
But now when I look upon it
I see the colours of our souls
Perhaps we painted heaven
In small strokes of innocence
I hope it resembles your drawing
Now that you are first to travel there
First, to become emotion unbound
Among the horses and meadows




Wednesday, February 08, 2017

Stage


For none clearly sees the aim
When at stake is Twitter fame
The world's becomes a new stage
On which the liberals now rage
But forgive the eccentric topics
Of all these ill-advised myopics
Protest is all very well and good
But don't do it because you could
And so, round and round, it goes
Where it will stop, nobody knows 

Saturday, February 04, 2017

Demo


Finally at last, the weekend is here
Now's the time for a new demo my dear
Don't worry what we will protest about
Just so long as we dance, scream and shout
We'll wave high our placards and banners
Shout f**k and c**t to show our bad manners
And don't wonder if will it do any good
All this venting of media-led bad blood
When Monday comes, we'll be at home
With consciences as shiny as chrome
For when all is said and done
Here in the safe suburbs protesting is fun
We'll drink latte; update our social feeds
With tall stories of our valiant deeds
And in the real world nothing will change
And no one seems to find it strange 

Thursday, February 02, 2017

Pictures

Some recent pictures I have taken while out walking around Entwistle Reservoir





Tread


We softly tread upon a starlit lawn
To gaze upon the fiery birth of dawn
As bats now withdraw and owls still
Sunrise crests above the eastern hill
In nascent shimmer does light awakes
Another new day the world now makes
Bees soar out from their waxy hive
The world is up and humming alive
On lavender, thyme, chive and box
Their day unfurls as nature knocks
I know the world is a pitiful place
Yet here I see another gentler face
If we all took some time to see wonder
So much strife we could put asunder
Before day and danger has beckoned
Be at peace in a green, sunny second

Monday, January 30, 2017

Delphi

I am not in Delphi
This is no revelation
And I am no oracle
Yet even I know
Though the same sun rises
And birds will continue to sing
They will be all the fewer
We are all touched now
By the madness of history
Everything has changed
Nothing can be the same again
Prophesy is served
By the recklessness of man

Friday, January 27, 2017

Vampires Exist

If I said, I had an idea for a story and the synopsis was:-

People keep female horses on farms in terrible conditions, get them pregnant and then drain blood from their jugular veins to use in farming and pharmaceuticals. Of course, the more blood taken the more profit made so if more is taken than the horses can spare, well it is an economic risk.

You'd think it was fantasy or some form of new sci-fi film, well sorry, it is fact. Perhaps it cannot be stopped because the balance of gain for humanity is too great. But it can be at least regulated and managed better.

End the Frankenstein horse vampires. Please sign the petition by Avaaz. (Follow the link below)




Wednesday, January 25, 2017

What a difference a day makes

Sparkling day with lots of sunshine after all the recent fog 



A touching remembrance left by someone on a bench dedicated to a loved one. I would be happy to know that I was remembered. Even if, it was just one person who remembered me and thought enough to do this.


Monday, January 23, 2017

Fog's back

Wow all we needed was Tippi Hedren and we could have re-shot 'The Birds' as it was atmospheric enough with all the fog.






Saturday, January 21, 2017

Lesson 1


Now to retreat and secure all the borders
But who will treat the internal disorders
People are blameless for being scared
For believing a patriotic self-serving word
Carnage, greatness, religious morals abound
But in these politics, God's word is not found
The finite resources of money and care
These are what the elites refuse to share
And to where now, will new days lead
When we have planted such bitter seed
The new days to repent have now begun
It's far too late for change, for it is done
Soon the strategy will become all too clear
For it was never about fairness my dear
When dark times lament the passing of grace
Seek shelter and solace in your special place
Take heart that the light will surely return
But regret the lesson was so hard to learn

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Perspective

Took this picture and then saw that either way up works. The one at the top is the correct orientation.




Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Breath

Silence and longing
Then instance breathes out
So comes the pause
When time freezes
In cloaked foreboding
And what comes next
Peace and reflection
Hope and forgiveness
Or simple certitude
The world close about us
But ever we let it
And if we are content
In peaceful anonymous calm
Deep in the winter mist
Where none may see us
We are become free




Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Walks 2017

Some pictures from walks over the last week...it has been a week of snow, fog and frost. Nice flare off the sun though.







Monday, January 16, 2017

Swell

For the cold, cold water
That swells upon a winter lake
It does not settle to calm
There is no warm, watery balm
To ease thoughts of immortality
These futile, vanishing dreams
That slip away into the cold
Delivering ever decaying kisses
Into winters, still brutal clasp