Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Mike’s mum has just undergone a very long and serious operation and at 87 it is a big worry. But she’s strong and matriarch of her clan. My father is now 77 and strong and patriarch of his clan but even so, sometimes I wonder if living is worth the worry of wondering when everyone else is going to leave. I think there comes a time in everyone’s life when the balance of years lived means that those that came before us are now nearly ready to pass. Some already gone, the rest soon to follow and it is but a great well of sadness we now look down into. A hurt comes to each of us that cannot be assuaged; that we have to bear; no matter the cost. Yet how I wish, I could leave first and delude myself it might never happen. That leaving soonest would be the easiest; if selfish beyond measure. So I will wait and grieve until it is my turn and I truly hope no one grieves for me, for that is what would hurt the most of all!

Time runs and we cannot ever reach its fevered pace
For the end was written before we entered this space
Our stories unfold in a lifetime of natures great dealings
The cycle of life runs and ends but will always bring healing